Catfish or Bread?

So… many people out there are familiar with this new urban legend of “catfish” and how it has impacted our social media personas and activities online.  As I looked online to find a good link to explain this concept in detail, I found several misconstrued definitions.  The idea was spawned from a story in the 2010 documentary, Catfish, where a man explained that when shipping live cod overseas from Alaska to China, the fish would be mushy and dull due to the long trip without mobility.  They simply didn’t swim around as much in the confined tank.  They came up with the idea to put catfish into the tanks in order to keep the fish active.  The catfish would chase the cod and keep them agile.  This resulted in the cod fish being of higher quality and much tastier cuisine once they reached China.  Therefore the premise is that a person who is a “catfish” keeps us on our toes, makes us question and raises our sense of awareness and maybe even our level of skepticism.  For the accurate definition, see this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_9_WMc_WTI. 

I appreciate this idea that we need the catfish in order to stay active and moving toward our goals.  But, it made me think about other unique resolutions that we use in our everyday life that are also applicable analogies – I remember when I was little (and still to this day) my grandmother and my mother would always put a slice of bread in the cookie jar with the cookies.  When I asked about this, I was told that it kept the cookies soft.  The cookies would draw the moisture out of the bread in order to stay chewy and yummy – hmmmm.  So is it fair to say that not only do we need “catfish” in our lives, but sometimes we need “bread” instead?  Maybe there are instances where we need to have someone who shares their kindness and warmth with us and makes us think that it is okay to trust and care.  Someone who is willing to sacrifice a bit of themselves and absorb some of our negativity and hardness… This allows us to imitate that same behavior.  Personally, I think a little sweetness and softness can help more often than the alternative.

When I think about these two analogies, I think that we need both types of people in our lives.  I can categorize several of the folks in my circle as catfish or bread.  The difficult part is determining which type you need to surround yourself with and when. Of course, it does make me giggle a bit comparing my friends to food and is probably a foreshadowing of much deeper issues - lol.   But, I do think it is a balancing act and also being aware of who brings the qualities you need at that particular moment in your life.  Just today, I had lunch with a friend that reminded me how much pleasure she gets from being a kind person.  This made me really think.  She also passed along a great bit of wisdom…”don’t let kindness be mistaken for weakness.”  That is very true and very thought provoking!  Probably material for a whole other blog post.

Anyway…I guess my message is to think about your acquaintances, colleagues, friends and networks and identify and appreciate those who are catfish and those who are bread.  We can't always take the hard line...sometimes we need to be soft, gentle and trusting.